a year ago today I was: - drinking little to no water - working out for a week or two then quitting - surviving - doordashing fast food 4 times a week (at LEAST) - barely going out - hated myself - practicing digital escapism but today I can very proudly say I’ve accomplished/ make progress towards most of my goals. I’m treating my body with the dignity it deserves, learning more than I ever did in college, and meeting various people every day. I’m living every day instead of solely surviving, im happier than I ever thought I could be. I’m growing everyday, always 1% better. I’m so grateful for the opportunity of growth.

this has been quite possibly the second worst week of this month. regardless of that fact i still worked out 3 times so far this week. I’m planning to workout again tomorrow but we’ll see. my jeans are actually falling off of me, and when I went for a hiit cardio circuit this past Tuesday, my sweatpants that used to be tight on me started falling down my waist. the way I’m finally seeing a lot of progress is telling me that it’s because all I needed to do was workout. I finally 80% figured out my nutritional goals so working out and lifting has really helped me <333 anyways even without a car I’m figuring out at home workouts and finally successfully completed a set of Bulgarian split squats!! YAYYY!!! I’ve been wanting to do these for so long, and I felt them immediately in my ass. that’s the most glute intensive workout I’ve tried so far. definitely gluteus minimus, but I need a maximus workout. but regardless that really is amazing and it felt so painful but so good. now I will take this shower, listen to my jazz playlist and scroll through Pinterest and keep manifesting my life !!! LAAAAALAAALAAALAALAAAAALAAAA

I LOVE THEM OMFGGGGG

unreal.

I think I started this weekend with very high hopes and these expectations. And I think when those expectations weren’t met at first I was upset. I felt like I wasted a weekend, and I felt dissatisfied and utterly disappointed. but now, I’m cleaning up my apartment from a weekend of fun with friends and I feel nothing but appreciation and gratefulness. things may not have gone as planned, but who cares when I had my friends around me the entire time making me laugh, having adventures, and making terrible financial decisions. i’m putting away all the candy we ate, putting all the drinks we forgot about in the fridge, and all I could think about is how much fun I actually had this weekend. The door is open, I’m listening to jazz, and the apartment is now strangely quiet. the first thing I thought was, “wow I wish my girls were here” I think that’s true sisterhood, being able to still have fun with these women despite things going wrong. I’m just so grateful to have found my girls so soon, almost to the point of tears. so nadina and aliyah, if yall are readin this. thank you for being my sisters

arms finna be massive first of all 😋 I’m so excited to have sleeper build arms bruh. I need it to look like my body is just avg skinny girl until I flex 😁😁 we did a bit of abs as well today, just the side to sides, I can’t wait for them to feel easier but for now I dread them 😭 stairmaster for 11 minutes today 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🫵 12 next time indeed 🧛🏾‍♀️ these Halloween photos better be cunty

finally a pleasing workout. I pushed myself to 10 on the stairmaster, unexpectedly so, and even thought I was dying or felt like I was it felt very rewarding. I was initially going to stop at 6 minutes like I planned, but I realized my heart rate wasn’t as high as it should’ve been, so I just kept going. abs felt good but I think I’ll do more intensive and deep core workouts to feel it even more. met this very sweet girl named Kayla, I’d been watching her for her whole workout. first because of her physique, then to see what excercises she was doing. we actually met her in the locker room, and she proceeded to tell me about move with Nicole. she’s a YouTube Pilates instructor and she has short workouts and long ones. I’m so excited to give it a try, I want to do it at least 3 times a week to start out. maybe on rest days for active rest days.

todays workout left me feeling just sad and upset I couldn’t get the forms right. which spiralled into much worse things and I spent about two hours crying my eyes out about things that happened years ago.

I was gonna type my review but go check it out on goodreads lol

apps I cannot live without ranked in order 1. Spotify (my 46 playlists speak for themselves) 2. Pinterest (seriously just start posting your fav pics of yourself, others, places, or food) 3. messaging (my group chats)

mind you. put this shit on on the stairmaster and bitch you gain an extra two minutes for free

I can’t wait to be able to do progress pics I want my back to be ripped and beautiful omfg … thinking thinking … we hit stairmaster for our cooldown today smh, it was actually kinda fun but bitch it taxed me badddd here’s to built arms, calves, a built ass and a beautiful back

abs DOWN! it was fun today! nadina came and we hit that shit periodddd

halloweenie coming so soon I hope everyone’s excited 👻🎃🕸️🕷️ I’ve decided to be a vampire, I wanted to go super gothic with the makeup and all but I fear it would just be too much </3

very hopeful for this next week of Jim. Ana and I are learning so much and it’s so much fun doing everything. today is abs which is also my favorite day yayyy

song of the hour

this song is very serious to me. I love Faye Webster I love the way she sings and the way she writes. she writes very unconventionally and I love it: easy to predict lyrics are what I hate and she makes it impossible me to know what is gonna come out her mouth next 😭

leg day was actually a lot of fun and I had more fun than I did last time

literally every other day ana and i hit are fine. I love abs it’s fun, i like arms, i (may) like back. but legs ….. 😔😔😔 I wish I found more workouts I actually like because the leg day workouts we do feel belittling and scary 😭 please have mercy on me tonight.

SO GOOD! I love hermoine and Ron yes <3