i feel a sense of relief whenever i come across videos on tiktok sharing their experiences with family, especially when it comes to "mothers" like mine. growing up alone despite having a full house is one thing no one, not alone a child, should ever go through. but, at least i now feel confident and accepted in some way that there are other people that can say the same. in the near future, i don't have to look back to them since i don't owe them anything once i am "fully independent". but, i don't know about how i will make up some excuses and whatever it is whenever they're going to ask for help for now. maybe i'll get it sorted out when that time comes. right now, i am fully happy whenever i am in dumaguete, and i am slowly coming back to enjoying things i used to like. i even started to pick up on drawing a few days ago when i was back at my hometown (i refuse to call it home). stress is [medyo ma considered normal, but i know it's not] still there, but i'l try not to overdo it.