I'm so scared all of the time. The idea of aging has started to frighten me more often these days. It's not really a fear about physically aging or my appearance, but more so the idea that everything around me is changing and I don't even realize it. What do you mean 10, 20, and eventually 30 years will pass by and I won't even notice? I don't like that. I don't like that I have to do this everyday and somehow not get tired of it. Older generations make it look so easy, but I'm already so burnt out. Everytime I think about the past, whether I was alive or not, I feel uneasy. I think about the people who've passed long before I was born. How was life for them during their era? How did people feeling the same way cope? Would I be happier had I been born in an earlier time? And it's weird because I never thought I'd be someone who'd worry over this. Maybe it's because I turned 20? I just want to stay inside my room forever. It's childish...but I guess I really don't want to grow up.