Behold the field of fucks I give and see that it is barren.

Nagini

Fudge is a mole rat in a bowler hat with less intelligence than a carrot.

Nagini

Shut up, you shitty excuse of a portrait! You’re an insufferable bat-faced hag with less decency and self-respect than a muggle toaster and the way you’re painted makes your face look like the inside of someone’s else’s butthole

Harry Potter (taught by Nagini)