replaying ep 4 rn of lis and i forgot how crushing it was seeing the alternate reality that would've happened if william was saved but chloe became paralyzed.
i was holding my tears when they were walking along the beach. i was holding my tears when they were spending the night together watching blade runner. i was holding my tears when max finally got to speak to an alive william.
but i couldn't hold it in anymore when max walked into what would've been chloe's room. it's all empty, boxes of childhood memories, letters from relatives sending the price family good wishes after the accident. no trace of chloe, besides the crutch her parents bought but she never got to use it because, she could never walk again.
growing up is realizing that yes, chloe got into so much shit in the real reality, so much trouble that could've been avoided and her death was one way or another a consequence of her actions. she was immature and inconsiderate in a lot of ways, but she never deserved to die, not when she was carrying the trauma of losing her father at a young age, not when her best friend left her behind to move with her family, not when her mother moved on with someone else so she felt like she was abandoned, not when her new best friend who meant everything to her went missing.
she needed someone in her life to guide her, to teach her, to let her know she could live without carrying grief as a burden on her shoulders. she needed someone, but she never received that. because in the real reality, she never reunited with max, the one week that they got to spend time together and discovering clues about rachel and other town secrets never happened in her reality. she died alone lying in a pool of blood.
