I hesitate for weeks to read this one. I knew it would tore me to pieces in the most shattering but beautiful way. There's something pretty in the ache. But, I was scared of touching a story with religious guilt after all this time. Because my heart has changed, and I don't think that love should be a sin in any form or existence. So it took me a while, to prepare myself and dive in without remorse of what could be told through this. To read again the amount of guilt one can carry when their love is seen as a curse. For starters, Hanahaki was already a bittersweet sickness. Here is ten times worse, because is a seed that makes you a sinner. In some way, Williams perception of his sickness was so beautiful that I got him completely. William couldn't ever live without his love for Est , because Est was the reason he kept living for in the first place. So it made sense, he chose to die. All they had was enough for him, and it's maybe, the first hanahaki I've seen where the protagonist don't expected to be love back. Maybe because he knew (and I knew too) Est wouldn't love him as lover. That doesn't erase the fact that Est loved William. He did, in all his actions. They just weren't meant to be in this timeline. Here they just save each other, and that's fine. I loved dearly the little details. How William accepted his love even with the fear. I think, he was braver than the story tells. And I loved Est character, I totally get why anyone could fall in love with a person this bright and kind. I would have like to know more about Est at the end, in my heart he kept Williams memories alive. I know that this william lives through his brothers, the ones that held his hand until the last flower in his chest took his breath away. I fear now, it's the time to read "almost " and act like it's their second chance to grow together