tbh I haven’t been doing well mentally. it feels like what I do, it’s not enogh. how much I work is not enough. how I act towards my bf isn’t enogh. just like idk. it’s more like harsh maybe when im trying to convey my emotions and it feels like no one is listening. anyways here’s some pictures i took when i was getting back home from work

in a hotel for my work, nothing like free hot water and family guy on cable. it is weird seeing the new seasons when I’m on season 8

I woke up at 4 am to see the shower. at first it was a bit cloudy, however after my eyes adjusted I could see some stars! I was nervous I wasn’t going to see anything but I saw a few shooting stars:3

I’m hoping to go to bed early so I can wake up early and see the meteor shower that’s starting tonight. I’ll let you guys know if I succeed🫡

I’m thinking of deleting instagram and whatever social media I have other than this. thoughts? I just get so overwhelmed in the winter I wanna take care of myself yknow?

I tried to take it easy however hard to take it easy with being in college. still my friend gave me a shirt they made for me (my birthday gift from the summer) also finally hanging up my fan and Phil tit poster

I’ve been really tired mentally and emotionally. hoping with thanksgiving break I can get back on my feet but I kind of doubt it. idk I hate depression and my fear of going outside starts ramping up. no one wants a real loser gf😔

are these wraps based? yay or nay?

in my town they did their seasonal book sale and I’m pretty excited with the spread. I didn’t realize you had to be a member but I signed up because it’s only 10 bucks for the whole year and I love county libraries. support your local library!!!

I’m super excited for the silent hill movie >_< I bought tickets for one theater but there’s an early show in a different theater. idk we’ll see what I choose

I recently got a jumping spider and I love him!! I haven’t chosen a name yet. waiting for a little more personality to choose. he hasn’t moved much since he’s in a new environment. ugh I love him>_<

I’m so done with packing. I swear I get so tired from packing and I don’t know why. I didn’t even pack much yet I’m so mentally drained:/. I’m just excited that once I’m moved in I’ll be getting a crestie and a pc setup:D will have to keep posted. *snakes I gotta hold for my job*

so currently I don’t have a job. I could sub (but I kinda don’t want to for the last week). I do have a summer job but I have a few weeks until then. after august it’s over. like I said I could sub the whole school year which isn’t bad pay. but it still makes me nervous. don’t I want a consistent job? even though I want to live in another state soon. it feels like my bf doesn’t understand that I don’t wanna teach even use my degree at this point. I just want to rest after years of school and presumably soon will do more years of schooling. but… I feel worthless. like I’m not doing enough and getting my bachelors is a crummy excuse to relax. does anyone have any advice on combating this?

I’m about to be 22 and I’m so fucking sad. I just graduated college, unemployed, the summer lab job I picked up didn’t have the hours they said they would so yknow sad in the financial department. I just feel like a failure. cherry on top, I graduated with a bachelors in biology and secondary education, however I’ve only received education one so I’m really scared I’m not getting the biology one which is the one I want to pursue my goals. I don’t want to talk about it to anyone close to me because it’s so sad. my bf already just kinda goes nonverbal when I say something negative. EXTRA EXTRA cherry on top, I got diagnosed with autism. nothing wrong with it I just, I said it as a joke cause my therapist said maybe I should check it out and wdym it’s actually true??? hopefully shouting this out into void helps. did anyone else experience the same despair at this age?