I wanted a short Asian book. so ofc as any sane person would do, I went hunting through Tokki's Goodreads. and was duly rewarded :3 I wouldn't call this a phenomenal book. I had no idea what I was even going into. it was short and the premise looked sweet. that was enough for me to pick it up. from the premise tho i did expect some philosophical grift that'd make me feel inspired about my dreams or show me hidden truths that'd help make life easier. instead, I ended up being shown the abject horrors of reality TT this was the takeaway from my reading of Silver Salmon's life: happiness shall come from conformity. very characteristic of the hyper-capitalist society South Korea is lmfaoooo. but honestly? I know perfectly well that conformity would fully end in happiness. But, and this is a huge but, only if I'd known nothing of the world. if I'd known nothing about my mother's pain at the hands of her in-laws and society, if I'd known nothing about the exploitation and abuse my dad went through, if I'd known nothing about how those old men who began touching me the moment I got boobs at age 10, if I'd just never learnt words like "misogyny" and "domestic violence", if only....... as they say, ignorance is bliss. being aware of all the things happening around me, having gained enough knowledge to notice even the little moments of injustice that usually go unnoticed and being unable to do anything about most of them — all of this means that I spend most moments in life in the agony of having known. conformity would have been so much easier without knowledge. but again, I've heard enough rural women gossip around to know that not having enough knowledge isn't stopping them from hating lmaooooooo.

now that my exams are over, I'm free to go back to reading woohoooooooo anyways, this being my first proper book this entire year (can you freaking imagine, 5 whole months without a single book), ofc I had to bring myself out of my slump with a Hercule Poirot. The culprit itself was easy enough to guess. we may not have had all the relevant info, but it was easy enough to catch onto the direction Poirot's investigation was going towards. Also, the end was kinda anti-climactic. Buthat wasn't what truly intrigued me in this case anyway. What actually had me seated at the edge of my seat was Elinor. I felt SO much for Elinor. She spent her whole life pretending to be who she's not, trying to fashion herself into the perfect socialite, that she didn't have anything of herself left in her. And that the man who she loved so much and who said he loved her back literally never noticed?? Roddy, you absolutely useless buffoon. And she remained such a good person in spite of everything that happened to her, but not one person had anything good to say about her character. Maybe one person. But still, I felt so incredibly bad for her. She did everything more than right, she remained generous till the end, and yet nothing mattered. Everybody had something good to say about Mary, but not one of them spoke in Elinor's defence even though Elinor did much more for them than Mary ever did. I'm sorry for the big word vomit, but I did cry myself to sleep over her last night so you'd forgive me my indignance, I hope.

First book of the year and it's this, I know,,, I may complain but I won't lie, this has actually been a pretty fun read LMFAOOOOOOOO who knew a day like this would come. Anyway, my takeaways: Preface + Chp 1: Geopolitics been fucking with world economy. We're basically heading down a changing world order where globalisation becomes Public Enemy #1. Cue wars and rising nationalism.

I have at least 10 highlights in this book that go "eva is that you?" basically, a monk starts feeling dissatisfied with his life and goes on a journey to find his purpose, and comes to many realisations in conversation with a wild-built robot. more than the plot or the story, the thing that made me so wistful about this book is the world Chambers built here. a world that lovely would never be possible in the hellscape we see around us today. all the more reason I yearn for it then ig lol. also I NEEEEEED this as a game pls i BEG of you, allow me to explore the beautiful abandoned Hermitage too PLSSSSSS