Started my first day as a research assistant today. I’m so exhausted. I went to two farms and learned a lot of practical skills. I aided with treating a calf with hypothermia, disbudded a calf and did rectal palpitations on a cow. Didn’t expect to be stepping in so much shit lol But I’ll have to get used to it. I was so nervous during the disbudding process. My advisor said I did well so I’m just hoping she wasn’t lying. I felt bad for the poor calf but it had to be done. Did end up getting blood all over my coveralls from the calf, idk how my school is gonna clean that because it will stain. I’m going to try my best to get comfortable with using the needle. It just feels so invasive but there’s no other way. I just want to make sure I can do these skills well because I don’t want accidently hurt the animal when it could be prevented. I want the experience to be as smooth going as possible. I’m so happy I actually studied hard for anatomy despite not doing the best, because man this is soooo useful now that I’m applying it.

Got my final grades back and will say I’m a bit disappointed. My goal for this year was to try and bring my average up but unfortunately things happen and it’s basically in the same place. I did hit some of my academic goals though. For my anatomy course I’m just disappointed that I didn’t do as well as I thought I I would. I studied so hard for that course and kept scoring low. At least I can say it’s over and done with.

I finished my last final yesterday. It took me 3 goddamn hours. I did study quite hard but man when I went to write the exam - all the information just leaked out of my head and evaporated. Pretty sure I had a mild anxiety attack and I felt so sick because I didn’t eat enough beforehand. I had to step out and take a breather. This course just has been awful for me. I enjoyed the material because it’s important to my field of study and I love learning how things work. But the structure and professor just wasn’t good.

Had my first final today. I did study but I definitely could have done more. I’m just hoping for a decent grade, I really did like this course and the professor.

My finals are coming up and man I’m so stressed about it. I suck at studying so bad. I fear that I’ll do atrocious and tbh this has been causing me to spiral.

Had my anatomy midterm on Wednesday. I studied pretty hard and I’m very proud of my notes. I had an easier time with the multiple choice this time but I did screw up on the long answers. I’m just hoping I got a better grade than last time 🤞

Anantomy is much harder then I thought it would be. I’ve been studying so hard for an upcoming midterm. I hope I’m able to clutch and get a good grade. I will say making my notes is a fun process but also tedious. I like looking at how pretty and organized they are.

Had a Chem lab today. Absolutely hate them. I will say I do feel kind of cute in my lab coat and goggles but half of the time idk what I’m doing. I miss my agriculture labs, those were more interesting.

Went to the sheep farm I’ll be doing research on. It was a nice experience. The lambs were very adorable and so were the sheep. I had to practice using the metal feeding gun on the lamb because that is how we’re going to administer the product. Again, it felt invasive even though my advisor told me it was fine. I tried to be as gentle as possible. I know the little lamb wasn’t as receptive to it because I was the last one in the group to practice the insertion after the poor little lamb had it done to him a couple of times already. Again, it’s something I have to get used to. I’ll eventually be taking blood, helping with the lambing, tagging them, etc… When I arrived on the farm I was greeted by the guard dogs. They are the cutest things and they are super friendly. Petting them and having them nuzzle up against me was honestly so healing. Also, my advisor bought the team butter tarts! I love her and the tarts were delicious.