I feel wanted, yet I’m terrified of those feelings.
Everything inside me feels like a mess.
I see a handsome boy and feel strangely connected.
I see a beautiful girl and feel something pull at my heart,
but I never know where those feelings are supposed to go.
This dopamine lifts me so high,
but the crash leaves me exhausted.
My emotions feel meaningless to others
while everyone around me searches for love
like it is the only thing worth living for.
I am scared.
Sometimes everything feels wrong,
as if I was born unable to understand
what is right and what is not.
There is a monster inside my head,
and I think I created it myself.
Please save me from it.
I feel like a child lost inside his own mind,
living without understanding himself,
surviving while carrying fear every single day.
That voice inside me whispers:
“You are unwanted.”
“You are childish.”
“You are ugly.”
“You are only waiting to die naturally anyway.”
It asks me:
Why are you trying so hard to belong
when you feel like you were never meant for this world?”
“Why do you keep becoming a burden to others?”
And honestly, that voice scares me.
Sometimes I wonder why emotions feel so deep
if they are meant to mean nothing.
Maybe everything we see, hear, and read
creates different meanings,
and our lives are shaped by the meaning we choose.
I feel everything too intensely.
As time passes,
I keep looking toward the sky,
hoping for miracles
even while knowing miracles may never come.
Every morning I want to become a better person,
yet by night I feel ruined again.
Life feels unpredictable.
Money may solve problems,
but it can never truly heal emotions.
Humans evolved from hunters and gatherers
to building magnificent cities and architecture,
yet emotionally
we still fight each other like frightened animals
desperate to prove superiority.
And somewhere inside all of this noise,
I am still trying to understand
whether I am the monster
or simply someone afraid of becoming one.
