my sister works at a local school and they get school lunches there. apparently today the coks madd too much so there were left overs and she came back with like 3 containers of samp and it was sooooo good!! ugh! if only my school had a lunch scheme😔

quite a lot happened today. firstly, I have a history test on Friday that I have not started studying for, and my business teacher decided it was the perfect decision to set a test for Thursday! so when am I supposed to study for history? no, she gotta change that. and a while ago we wrote a businesss test, we got our marks today and they were so bad!!! I made the stupidest mistakes on planet earth! anyway, I saw my geography mark too and it wasn't bad, but for how easy that geo test was, it was soooooo horrible. but I have a feeling I have a few marks that weren't given to me, so I'll fight for them when we go through that test tomorrow. in LO today, we were given a task to get work experience. basically, go out to a workplace that you aspire to build a career in in the future and shadow there to (1) gain experience and (2) actually see if you like it or just like the thought of it. I don't know what I want to be yet so that's a problem. and the ideas I do have are ssssooooo far away from my home that I can't get there without getting lost. I'm so cooked. and exams are really gut around the corner, why are these teachers assigning this all now?!

🤍🌨️💫

I'm currently on a mission on expanding my lexicon, not only in English but also in my native language (IsiZulu) and expanding it into new waters in the form of foreign languages. I'm currently learning Latin, (btw the phase at the top mans: "By teaching, we learn.") and I'm also learning Russian and Sotho. I'm developing (very slowly😔) but practice makes progress. this also just links to my love for humanities. STEM is very important but that's just not where my heart is. I love literature and the arts waaaayyyy too much to got be a, eg: engineer. “We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?” 🫂🤍

Faeloria; ~ The beauty that grows from wounds you thought would destroy you.

keep in mind that I'm writing exams in like 2-ish weeks so I should be locking in and studying, but I'm not... and it's okay🙃

~ Know you wondered where the f I been💋

Ephemeral; ~ lasting a very short time, but is extremely beautiful⭐

I'm a star, how could I not shine? 💋⭐

i have about 2 chapters to learn for history and 6 poems to study for English. did I do them today, a day where I had no plans whatsoever? no. because I "work better under pressure". I need someone to come and actually give me a good slap to wake me up from whatever dream I'm living in😔

cue the thunder🌨️🐚🪐

apples, peanut butter, and rice cakes have been my key school lunch this whole term. they're just soooo easy to put together in the morning and it's healthy too ig😭🤍

today was actually not a horrible day. I had two tests, yes, but they were good. I liked them. and there was also a netball match after school and I went to support my friends. all my subjects today we're also smooth sailing💕💫

this movie(s) is even on my bio😭. That's how much I genuinely like it and the music is good!

I have six poems I need to learn for my upcoming English exam, but it doesn't really feel like work. I naturally love literature, so it's not that bad. it's just I dont like some of the poems on the syllabus.🫂💞

after the absolutely disgusting day I had yesterday at school and the nonsense those teachers pulled on me and my friend, I decided not to go today. it works out just fine anyway, imma just study for my test tomorrow. and update on the hair situation: they said I have until the first of June to remove it. keep in mind, June first we start exams and they go until like... june 16-ish. after that I have like one and a half weeks left of school, what's the point? I'm not undoing my hair.

i definitely need some light after the disgusting day I've had.

I've been so undisciplined lately. I've been procrastinating, I haven't been doing my hobbies, and I just haven't been showing up for myself. I have dreams and goals to fulfill and I haven't been showing up and working towards them. even when I have free time, like today, I just get into bed, scroll, watch videos, and not do what I should be doing. writing my book, going out for a run, eating good, practing, etc. only she outsiders are involved, eg school, do I actually force myself to get up and work. even worse, I've started putting my value in school, and marks, and how friends and others view me. that's not good. I just need to get up and find myself again. go back to libraries, go back to volunteering, go back to trying to be the best version of me. I hate this version of myself because it's only going to bring regret later on.

I'm actually so mad... like I'm fuming even. my school is so ridiculous, so annoying, and not even to be pessimistic but I hate it. i hate everything about that place and my dad just won't let me transfer. tell me why I got shouted at for having brown braids and got threatened with a detention? I've walked passed the damn principle with this hair and she said nothing. the teacher was on some "I shouldn't be able to differentiate between the hairpiece and your actual hair" but the white girls have highlights, dye their hair from black to blonde, and have their natural roots showing over the dye. and that is fine? nothing happens to them? what kind of racism is that? even worse, my friend (that I got in trouble with) has been getting this color since grade 8 and no one has said anything. we're seniors now, why the change!? there's this girl in my grade too, she did blonde braids and the teacher told her to take them out as soon as she can because they're not allowed. no demerit, no detention. BLONDE. What the actual heck?! I'm not undoing my braids. if I have to sit in detention every week, so be it, but I'm not going to be discriminated like that.

~ you're such a dream to me💞