So... I kind of disappeared. It's been a whole lotttttt! I've started building my library again, started prepping and all. May is already sparse on here. I loosened my dreadlocks. I miss my hairrrrrrr.

On this day, I remember just sitting on the bed and trying to write. And I did write.

I always heard this song everytime, but I never really searched it up until today. It's the most relatable.

I wrote some sort of story adaptation on a scene from this movie. It moved me like that. I love that it was very quiet and still so very loud. I've always loved messed up protagonists, people that are pushing on despite the many things weighing them down. I love how the movie blatantly portrayed everyone's struggles, everyone's fight. It's a lotttt. gosh, I don't have words.

Ohkayyy, one of the books I redownloaded was this! I had to sit down and just go down memory lane, (or go down a rabbit hole). It reminds me of The Chronicles of Narnia. It has this sort of nostalgia to it.

So... I got kicked out of my Township co-op. Just when I was starting to find camaraderie there. I always played the games in regatta and helped, I don't know why they kicked me out. I was thinking of rejoining to ask "hey pookies, what did I do wrong?", but they must have done it for a reason. I felt forlorn for a while, then I created my own co-op. It's a bit dry. I named it Aurora.

Reminds me of sitting outside while the sun sets, saying a final goodbye, watching the rain, soft conversations.

Little Animations I found on Pinterest. These things melt my heartttt.

Yesterday, I was discussing with one of my friend, and the conversation took a very nostalgic turn. Back in Junior Secondary, she was my best friend, we hung out together, made so much memories, before she moved out of the state. And soon, we were saying, "remember when...", "remember when...". It amazed me the memories I still keep, that I guess will never really leave. And when we were done, we just asked: Where have the years gone? Gosh, it was just sooooo nostalgic. Like I was back in 2019. It was sad and surreal at the same time.

I now have a new earpoddddd!!! Gosh, I can listen to music, and I bought Bayonetta glasses for reading. They're so fineeeeeee. 🤭😝

"Houston, we're at stable one. The ship is secure. This is Artemis II signing off." The phrase marked the successful end of the Artemis II mission. The commander, Reid Wiseman, said this on April, 2026 immediately following the Orion Capsule's Splashdown. I don't know what, but it's so poignantttt.

Well, guess who's obsessed with the Artemis II mission, and the crew and everything about it? This gworlllll!!! 😝😝😝😝😝😝 I've been hearing about this early April, but I didn't have time to really look into it because it was the last days before I wrote my exams. But now? Now I want to be an astronaut, and know every freaking thing about space and spacecrafts so I can be part of Artemis III. I just love the way the crew, I love the pictures of Earth from space NASA uploaded. It just shows that at the end, we are all the same floating on this beautiful, rock in the middle of a void. It's a really humbling experience seeing things from that perspective. I wrote a long, kind of research about them. I'm still in the process and I'm loving every bit of itttttt! And their edits have so much AURAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I was scrolling through TikTok when I saw this video of this dude who is a femboy. The video was supposed to be a sad vibe, and the caption said: "Stop killing Femboys, not all are gay". I get what he was trying to pass across, but it didn't come out right. So, the femboys that are gay should be killed? How about stop killing people. Period. How about treating people with basic human respect. I could dive into the whole topic of misplaced priorities. This country is literally crumbling: Terrorism, paedophilia, rape, mass murders, kidnappings, all forms of insecurities and corruption, and some people are channeling their energy into being homophobic. It's just so sad and foolish.

Pictures I took late last year, and early this year. That transformer will always be my friend.

I was thinking of this song throughout the whole day. I will never wish this on my worse enemy, the intense desire to listen to music but realizing that you can't.

So... I might soon be getting a job. My hopes are high. I can't keep staying home, it's just so sad. I'm writing my application letter. My friend, Chakeleke is also applying for a job, though the place a bit farther from mine. I really wanted us to be going home together. My days are about to become very hectic.

I forgot to write about this. Some days back, one of my friends whom I used to be very close with, came back into my life (ish). And while I've had this whole nostalgic thing, sometimes reminiscing our time together and stuff, I accepted that our relationship had reached it's natural end, and we were meant to part ways. But now she's back. And we're chatting. And while I'm aware that she's now in some way a familiar stranger (years has literally passed), she's still behaving like I'm a bit unchanged. I feel like perhaps she still thinks she's talking to the same me. I mean she is, but she's not. And our humour used to be in sync, I literally don't feel it now. Gosh.

I can't count how many times within the past two hours I've reached for my earbuds only to realize decided to give up on me for no freaking reason. The whole story that led to that is complicateddddd, I don't even know when I'm getting another one. I literally can't sit still when I think of music. D'you think it's an addiction? Am I addicted to music?!!! 😫🤧

The way this song feels so soft.

Also, I had this discussion with said dude about which one is best: a meaningful life or a happy life. It was mind warping, I won't lie, but that's exactly the kind of conversations I loveeeee.😝 Though I discussed it with him, I and my one of my girlfriends still discussed it. My two cent was: If one finds meaning in something, it brings it's own fulfilment which is it's own happiness. A genuinely happy life is meaningful, and a meaningful life is happy. What I wrote in my journal was a lottt more than this. I also think that for him, his own definition of "a meaningful life" was objective, which shouldn't be the case. The definition of a meaningful life can vary depending on the individual.