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I took my weight this morning and was incredibly confused. listen I just bought this scale too and it seemed accurate the first time I used it (day 1). now I’m on day 4 and got curious,, it said I dropped 6 pounds??? AURRR????? that’s not right, I go on again… 8 pounds????????? HUH. one more time. I go on and it says I didn’t drop anything. now I’m confused. I turn it off and turn it back on. and now it says I dropped 2 pounds. I try again. 2 pounds. OK COOL!!! YAY!!! that’s all.

it looks like slop but trust me this is SOOOOO good and took me less than 5 minutes to make!! (if your rice is already cooked) I just grilled some 93% lean 7% fat turkey with some olive oil,, added taco seasoning, salt, pepper, and onion powder (and garlic powder if you have some!). Get a bowl and put in some cooked rice (I had yellow rice but brown rice is ideal!),, added no fat mozzarella,, and threw the cooked turkey on top. Instead of sour cream I used plain greek yogurt and added a lil bit of sriracha. Boom thats it!!! So so so so so good!!!! If you have more time I’d put in tomatoes and lettuce but alas I’m in a rush for work ;; (plus the ground turkey was less than $5 and I have enough for at least 5 meals!)

- fast food/eating out no more than twice a week - replace soda and sugary drinks with zero sugar or just plain ol’ water - hit the gym physically 4 times a week (home workout once a week) - meal prep lunches (I usually end up skipping lunch and having a heavy dinner) - lighter dinners (portion control but still allowing myself to eat whatever mom makes!!) - making sure not to skip breakfast as well!!! (I’m very very bad about this) - waking up no later than 9am - hopefully (crossing my fingers) lose 10-20 pounds by the new year!! I’ll add more to this when it becomes habit but this is a good start!! (ty Jaida for holding me accountable and helping me grow myself :3) YAY!!!!!!

“it’s only a 3 hour shift how are you so tired” …. ts is not for the weak. mentally. physically. vocally. everything about it is defeat. “she’s only 13” …. and she punches like a grown man. she pushed her arms into my right tiddy. now it hurts like a bitch. she tried to bend my finger back. thank god I backed up in time. do you know how it feels to have a child yell and punch you for asking if she could draw a triangle on a whiteboard? not great. not fucking great. but I do genuinely love my job and helping these kids but god how is my 2nd ever client a fucking final boss. like there’s levels to this shit and she’s at the tippy top of the pyramid. all I can do is try my best and have a depressing drive back home. might fuck around and get myself a sweet treat too who knows. I need it.

SOOOOOO GOOD. Cornbread had actual corn in it. Spinich dip and chips were bomb. We all shared dishes and literally everything tasted good. I am a salt fiend tho I wish they had a salt shaker at the table… alas. But my chicken parm was heavenly also we ended off with the donuts…. OHHHHH ITS SUCKING ME OHHHHHH. Everything was pretty pricy tho so thank you big bro for swiping the card, I know it hurt. Anyways that’s all YAY!!!! Happy birthday to me!!!!

Got 3 hours of sleep (I only have myself to blame). Woke up to my friend calling me. Head throbbing, muscles aching. Go to order food cause I’m starving. McDonald’s doesn’t start lunch menu till 10:30am. I wait and in the mean time I try to open up bato to show my friend something. Doesn’t load. Doesn’t work for a solid 10 minutes before I give up. I finally order my food and head out. My car is making strange noises. Ok cool whatever. I get stuck behind the worlds slowest truck. Cool. I get brake checked. Cool. I pick up my food and they take a solid 5 minutes to get it to me. Mind you I’m rushing to work. Mind you I only ordered a meal deal. Mind you, I was the only one in line. SIGHHHHHHH. I head to work now. Car in front of me skips an entire light cycle cause it wanted to turn left (I needed to go right). I finally come into work and the main pool is broken. Cool cool at least I can stand around instead of sitting in a chair for an hour. Sike. Nadina get into the main stand. They fixed the main pipe 3 hours before it should have gotten fixed. Lucky. Me. And now my McDonald’s cold and I have to go back in rotation for another hour. Kill me now.

The only guy that I’ve ever seriously liked has moved across the country. For 15+ years I didn’t once get the courage to actually ask him out or make any type of initiative. I don’t want to be in a relationship that I can’t take long term. I don’t want to be in a relationship that my parents don’t approve of. I don’t want to be in a relationship that I need to hide. It was the perfect circumstance. And now he’s away living life. Will I lose feelings for this man? Probably not. sighhhhhhh. I just have to keep it pushing :/

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IM CAUGHT UP!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (I need more. I need more. more. more. MORE.)

Currently on chapter 126!! Less than 100 chapters to go oh yeah!! (till I catch up… it’s not completed…sigh….)