i want to be the irresponsible guy. Having no one leaning on you since you can't even hold yourself steady. Having hands by hands reaching you out once you try something as they expect you to do mistakes. I want to be the irresponsible guy, who would always have someone behind their back even though they do it in anger. I would rather, ruin it all instead of be the one to carry it all at once on my shoulder. Expected to be the hero over everything, be the first to fix any miscalculation and inconvenience. I would rather loose everything than be seen as someone to rely on. Because at the end of day, i couldn't rely on anyone except myself. Having myself capable over anything and leaving the urge to find somebody. Leaving myself alone inside my head since i was forced to believe that i could handle everything. It's not true. It was never, ever true. So if i have the chance, let me be the irresponsible guy. I promise i would be the best irresponsible guy, by being responsible enough of my irresponsibility just to know the feeling of being seen.