I hope i stay. In the purest form of love, i hope they come at the time where i finally know how to handle myself. I hope they don't see me as someone who would run anytime, i hope i won't cage them with the idea of me leaving. Because being equal was never the same in love. I thought being in love means that we should love someone properly and wholeheartedly. Mirroring activities and treatment doesn't mean the love is equal, unfortunately. Because i can do it all while deceiving every love sent to me. So what i learn was, i need to receive the love as much as i give. Which i never learn in the first place. Strictly restricting the love i receive from someone or something that feels inconsistent and harsh, because that's the only thing I'm familiar with. And if they ever come again, I hope i understand. I hope i could fully understand how stable and constant love is. I need to believe that it comes from something that is comfortable and calm. As someone who's been relying on tragedy and misery just to feel alive, having something gentle feels like a boredom. I know it isn't, but if i was a mess, would something calm love to have me around? If they were a pretty flower garden, i know they would take me in. As the storm that coming in harsh and without warning, they have no idea how harmful i would be. While staying there for themself, i might get in just to mess them around, ruin every peace they build, and leave. So if they ever come again, i hope i have turned into the flowing wind you found at noon. The one that calm you nerves down as you listen to you favorite song and surroundings. Please, let me be non destructive at least for once in my life.