im a little envious of how my brother has so much online friends. like he literally has friends from other universities, other regions, even in other countries and with diff age ranges. and i would hear him talk with each other on discord from time to time during evenings. at the same time, i dont think i would have the same mental energy level to always talk to people. i mean, sometimes it takes me ages to respond to texts. as if the messages were send thru pigeons. and i admit, it's a character flaw. and i'm not proud of it. i talk to my close friends from time to time, meaning if something came up for us to talk about, which is seldom, and we have little or limited common interests together. i guess one of the things that i really admire from my brother is how he can easily get to have friends—friends that he can really talk to, while im here ranting these things online which i dont know if it makes sense or just pointless. and i think another flaw of mine is, i'm really, really serious with my alone time. im very selfish with sharing my personal time and get easily overwhelmed when getting random messages i don't expect—which is a nature of messages, you don't really predict it to recieve it sometimes. especially when i feel like getting bombared, and it applies to all, may it be from friends, classmates, or other people i associate with. so, maybe after all these rants, i'm just not meant to be for it. maybe i can just yap after composing it, or maybe i just prefer when i talk to people personally. but im not a fan of calls either, yikes.