---------------⊱༺༒︎༻⊰---------------- it seems that i have been underestimating myself, thinking that my craft's quality was dictated by the pace of its conclusion. i watch several crochet and knit youtubes for the purpose of motivating myself to finish my projects, but i've realized that it has ingrained a toxic mindset in my head. not that crochet and knit videos have a terrible effect for me overall; it's a form of body doubling that helps me get the job done. it also inspires me to create, giving a multitude of ideas for me to express my own world. by watching multiple creators, i build my own collection of skills and knowledge that help me along my journey. the only problem is: it sets an uncosncious standard in which i must finish my projects instantly. watching project videos and seeing results in under 20 minutes put me under the expectation that i must finish mine too within that timeline, when i'm not supposed to be. knitting and crocheting are slow crafts, it's *supposed* to take time. i definitely know that. but when i grab the knitting needles and start knitting, i immediately think about the results and end up becoming impatient after a few rows. i then look at my project and sigh at myself for only making less than five rows in thirty minutes. i wasn't even even able to appreciate the fact that i knitted for 30 minutes! i focus so much on the progress and outcome that i forget the point of why i've delved into this hobby in the first place: enjoying the process of creating a garment and loving it before even wearing it. i put so much pressure in finishing as *fast* as i can, making as *many* as i can as if i had a deadline; when it should be all about the love of creating. art takes time. the process will be slow, but it's what makes my art meaningful. it's the thousands of intentional stitches i make so that a piece is given life. ---------------⊱༺༒︎༻⊰----------------- now THERE'S a really long ramble after being inactive for weeks! thank you if you've read this far. i'm really grateful to those that take the time to hear about my thoughts. also my skeleton top in case anyone's curious… post soon? i hope? i did not block it very well but it's definitely finished! my apologies for not posting much, i've been dealing with burnout for this month. thanks again! q(^-^q)