Sakura's perspective on living is what actually drew me in. Just the way it drew in Haruki. I remember having a similar epiphany quite a few years ago when I was going through a lonely period in my life. During that time I've had some excruciating experiences, stuff that hurt to even articulate at the moment...so I didn't. At times I used to write to rid myself of the spiralling thoughts, so some of it is certainly trapped between the pages of my then diary (–which I refuse to look over right now because I find no point in revisiting them...). But that's the extent of their existence. Once I was over it all, it felt so strange to me that something that was once so painful, something that held an iron-clad grip on my mind and beliefs is now no longer there at all, save for a mere scribbled imprint stuck in an old diary. It is only later that I realised that my poor recollection of those difficult times owed not to my healing alone, but to the fact that I was so, so alone. Now that I think about it, it was a boon. But at that time I thought that being depressed is bad enough as it is, I shouldn't have to be alone. I blamed God. I thought I was having to wallow in my misery all by myself with no one to comfort me. But He knew best. Had I not been lonely then, not only would I have had anxious thoughts, negative self-talk and a bad self-image but it would all have also bled into the conversations I had, the time I spent with people, inevitably staining their opinions of me and ultimately culminating into very concrete pieces of my experience that could easily solidify in memory. That would be a wholly different kind of pain. To be reminded of it everyday. In the people you know. In the places you've been. I'm grateful to God now, cos I'm not capable of that type of remembrance. Simply because I was alone. Ever notice how you remember your days by the people you spend them with? The times you spend alone rarely ever spring up in mind. They're sort of stacked down upon and lost. I'm glad that the nature of my suffering was such that at the least I could forget them and at best I can be there for those who feel discouraged and downtrodden, who are going through what I've been through bcs I've been in their shoes, I can sense their pain. I can show them there's hope...because if I am still here, certainly it can get better for them too. This wasn't supposed to be trauma-dump but i gotta REcord my POV so that's what I do 🙂‍↕️🎬 Anyway, I digress... I love how she first asks him if he wanted her as a girlfriend and upon receiving a no, she straight up jumps his bones 😂 She liked him so much that she didn't want to hurt his feelings (if he had any) or lead him on with her little experiment. She just had to be sure. I also think about that scene soon after, where the two of them end up on the mattress in Sakura's room. It isn't half as perverted as it sounds, but yeah. I wondered what led him to do what he did. He certainly didn't mean no harm. But he wanted to appear like he did. It puzzled me initially. But the more I read between the lines, I think he was trying to appeal to what Kyoko told him earlier (—about hurting Sakura's feelings) and...move on basically. But he knew Sakura wouldn't let up that easily. So he resolved to appear malicious?¿ But that didn't work, cos minutes later she caught him standing up for her, opposing her ex+stalker 😭 and ultimately after apologizing profusely when she asked him to stay tearfully, how could he have said no? What was most appreciable to me was how Haruki had actually changed. Sakura wasn't just a chapter in his life, not just a crush, not just a love-interest. She genuinely made him feel. She made him feel things he didn't even know existed. It started when he began asking her questions about her childhood, her likes and dislikes. He began to care about "others". Boy really changed. It was astoundingly obvious when he followed Kyoko out the cafe to ask her to be friends. When normally he wouldn't give a single damn. And the way she knew he wouldn't show up right away after she has passed. Or at the funeral. Or anytime soon. But she knew he eventually would. She really did become a part of him and he of her. So glad I watched this. I really do resonate with the concept of this movie. It was supposed to be tragic; since the movie started from the reflection of her funeral itself, I thought I definitely knew what was going to happen. But I was wrong. I'm sure the plot twist takes everyone by surprise. And takes this movie from tragic to horrifyingly unfair. But also somehow uplifting..? And that thing about her name and his name....cherry blossoms and spring tree 😭 its so serendipitous and beautiful. bet that idiot Jungkook bawled his eyes out before recommending this, cos i know he's such a sucker for that kinda romance.