my entire day was spent in the soft surrender of my bed, surrounded by the warmth of my friends. we drifted through the hours checking out necessities from online carts, dissolving into fits of laughter over the most unpredictable jokes, and occasionally scattering random videos into mutual chatrooms. that was the sunlit side of existence. but the night demands a different, heavier currency. in the dark, my schedule becomes frantic. busy with the exhausting labor of questioning whether i am even worthy of being loved. it turns out the ancient truth holds absolute which is joy and sorrow are woven from the exact same thread. the moment we taste a happiness so bright, the shadow of sadness is already waiting on the doorstep, ready to take its turn.