In my previous blog I told how we went to buy hakka noodles and all the related stuff to eat that as dinner. my roomie spotted those things and emphasised that we should make it and since she can't do it very well, she entrusted me for making it and further said she will possibly help in boiling and stuff. so, I agreed that I'll do it. we returned to our room around 6.30 and then I said we should be starting to make it so that we can eat it by 8. She said, Why do you have to waste your time in it? we will start making it by 8. Then around 9 I said we should make it, and she said we'll do it later. Then I went to call my parents and by 9.30 I was done. Now, there were also other friends of ours present in our room and they packed up their stuff to go have their meals in the mess. Now, At that point I was so hungry that I was so irritated although I didn't reflect this thing outside but I was like, Let me come along with you guys for dinner. and while my roomie was on call she goes like, why're you going? ain't you making the noodles? You said yourself you will make it ! now, what the fuck it is to say that 'I' will make it ? wasn't it 'Us' who were going to make it together ? Then I (maybe raising my tone-as my roomie stated) said to her - I never said it myself that 'I' was going to make it, it was you who emphasised it ! and see, If you were to assign that task fully to me you could've told me that so much before so that it would've been ready by now. I, irritated, went to my other friend's room where they had all the stuff for cooking and started to prep for the noodles. I washed the vegetables, cut them, preped the boiling water for noodles and all the stuff and then went back to my room to get the noodle pack only to find my roommate was not there. I was feeling in my gut that she went to mess for dinner. I called her and asked her where she was, she sounded irritated as fuck and said I'm in mess. My irritation turned into anger but I was still not reflecting it. I asked her to come back I was preparing the noodles and she said - Bro, you yelled and left the room, so I went to the mess and I'm done eating and she ended up the call. It hurt me as fuck. I went to the room where I left all the cooking stuff, threw it all away, cleaned up the utensils and rushed to the mess. The food tasted so disgusting, I was terribly hungry, rage stretched across my cheekbones, and I was just rushing coz this is what happens to me when I feel anger and irritation. It really hurt me and still I am irritated with anger, still not reflecting it. I hate her, I hate giving her chances, I hate treating her nice, I hate it all to the core and most brutally, I hate myself for always making these questionable life choices. It hurts like fuck. she did it all because she have a mini test tomorrow, so she wanted to save up time and put everything on me. she's selfish and therefore happy, and I put everyone first except myself thus I'm feeling shit and writing my rage over here, still not reflecting it.