I believe that I don't have a clear picture of myself, so I overthink or underthink about myself. I do feel much more clear about my likes, dislikes, and opinions. I can recognise and articulate my emotions. I can build a nearly hyper-realistic painting of each little aspects of mine, but everything becomes blurry the moment I have to see the complete portrait. Perhaps, my brain has nearsightedness too. It only recognises me in parts and pieces. Because of this sometimes I feel like I'm playing a role, speaking lines that align with an image. Now, as to how I realised this: I received compliments from three or four people today. I accepted them kindly and returned a few as well. But I couldn't soak in the compliments, because the painting they're complimenting only reveals itself to me in parts and pieces. Someone might call me beautiful, and I would feel warm. But I can't see the face that they see smiling at them. Other might compliment my work, but all I could see was the numerous trials and errors. So, I miss out of finding strength through validation (internal and external both) until I can see the bigger picture or complete portrait of myself.