didn't expect this pretty ass day to end with me crying in my psychologist's office lol. today was supposed to be a chill coffee and cafe day, but things got heavy out of nowhere. i actually have regular appointments with my psychologist + psychiatrist already, but today wasn’t supposed to be one of them. this was... earlier than scheduled. but something triggered me so bad i just couldn't hold it in. so i started panic texting like 3 different clinics where my psychologist usually practices. "is Kak Alto available today?" to every admin. the second one replied, i immediately went "i'll take literally any available slot. any duration. omw." i think i was lowkey scared he already had a full schedule or something but yeah i rushed there. the second i walked into his room, i just completely broke down and instantly cried. can't even believe a day that started out so normal and peaceful ended up with an emergency therapy session. guess the coffee date will have to wait.

happy 60th birthday to the woman who does it all. six decades of kindness, wisdom, and endless love. thank you for being the heart of this family. i love you more than words can say, mama! 🩷

lately, things have been... heavy. i've been doing my best with everything, but things have been heavier than they look, and some people have been really hurtful, it's been affecting me more than i expected. so the night before, i texted Adara something that probably worried her. it wasn't pretty. it wasn't okay. and i knew it. so the next day (which is today), i reached out again. the first thing i said was, "i'm sorry." then, almost hesitantly, "do you want to go out with me?" and she said yes. so we ended up going to Uala Coffee and honestly… it was really nice. we talked. about random things, small things, funny things, things that didn't feel as heavy as the night before. and somewhere in between, she told me, "don't go through things alone. if you need anything, i'm here." and i dont know. that stayed with me. it wasn't a grand moment but it felt like breathing again. so yeah… thank you, Adara. and thank you, Uala Coffe 🤍

okay so my work at the office was technically done (not really… just on pause because we're waiting on another team to finish their presentation thingy), and suddenly i had no idea what to do with myself. so somehow… i just ended up at Royal Plaza (a Mall). at royal... honestly... seyuyurnya... i had no idea what i was doing. like… it's been SO long since i went out alone. 3 years? 4? 🤔 so yeah... i just wandering. overstimulated but also empty. walking around aimlessly like an npc with no mission and alone. and yeah ofcourse my battery died. so now i'm just a powerless human in a mall 😢. so i had to find somewhere to charge 😒. but WHY is finding a socket harder than finding purpose in life?? every spot was either full, occupied, or just… not it. like should i go here? there? why is everything taken? why am i here??? 😳 and then somehow (magically) my feet led me to Tom Sushi. idk bro... next thing ik there's food in front of me. i dont even remember making a firm decision. i just materialized with sushi.

Happy New Year 🫶

came across our childhood friend in the middle of the crowd last week. just a little proof that the universe really works in mysterious ways :p adulting is tough but spotting a massive ドラえもん in a random East Surabaya mall after work was pure bliss ˚｡⋆ doraemon spring festival

FOMO got the best of me but my taste buds are so happy rn! 🤤🥞 ps. happy to see Tahu (white puppy) and Kunci (black puppy) cz they're so CUTEE!!

spent a leisure day with my love today! we turned a simple sheet of drawing paper from the balpem underground museum into a canvas of vibrant memories. cherishing the simple joys and embracing the creative vibes-here's to turning ordinary days into extraordinary memories. anw we got those pensil warna dan krayonnya dari temen kita HAHA thanks love. dia kasih pensil warna sama krayonnya ke aku waktu itu dan AKU SENENG BANGET?! these colored pencils and crayons are more than just art supplies; they're tokens of joy and cherished childhood dreams. i can still remember wanting crayons like these so badly back in the day, but mama couldn't afford them, the envy for those gold and silver shades was real, now, being able to use them (thanks to the lovely gift) and coloring away with my love feels like pure happiness. it's like... my inner child's soul is finally healed, here's to embracing the simple joys and turning dreams into colorful realities.

a month ago, one of my colleagues got married and held this super intimate private wedding at a hotel. somehow i ended up wearing a white kebaya because... well that's literally the only formal kebaya i own 😬. at first i was lowkey scared to wear white because i consume way too much korean and western wedding culture content online and they treat wearing white to someone else's wedding like a federal crime 💀 but honestly? Indonesian weddings don't care, so... 💁‍♀️ anyway, I did my own makeup using like a gazillion youtube tutorials and somehow served the cleanest Korean makeup look of my life!!! AKSJAJDJSJAJHD my most successful Korean makeup look ever because i looked SO STUNNNIINNGHG!!!!! BUT THE TRAGEDY IS… I CAN'T RECREATE IT ANYMORE 😭😭😭 i've tried. multiple times. same products, same techniques, same lighting, same playlist, same everything. but that makeup look was apparently a once in a lifetime divine intervention because why did my hands suddenly lose all their talent afterwards 😿💔 and somehow i styled my hair perfectly that day and now every time i try to redo it i end up looking like a clown. i'm actually grieving the loss of that face card. i mean... why does the makeup math only work once❓️🙂