i lost another baby.. she was indeed just a baby, maybe 1 or 2 years old. and i'm sure she wanted to live longer. and i was ready to help her. it looked like an external ear infection and it got her today. she didn't eat anything yesterday and only drank water. mum made her smell milk but she got nauseous :(. and today, by afternoon, we found her a little away from our home, in a corner of our neighbour's house. my mom told me: "daughter, i think she's dead". a part of me wished she was tired and just sleeping in that corner. unfortunately ants and flies were already on her.. and that too, in her eyes. my friend once told me: "i wish my kids have her eyes". i shooed away all the insects though, that's all i could do for her. well.. she was an energetic kitten. so active, i mostly couldn't match her energy. and what made her unique was that she loved kissing me and my mum! let's say, i'm sitting on a chair. she would jump on to me, grab my face with her paws (sometimes claws included, ouch) and either kiss my face or bite my nose! how adorable was she. i cried a little when i saw her lifeless body. i was not that attached with her but the pain isn't any less. i guess, what hurts the most is that i didn't even give her an official name. and silly me.. it's evening already, i just opened the front door and wondered where you are. i forgot. but then i remembered. i still see you on your favourite chair though. i couldn't take many pictures of you either. you were so hyperactive that you wouldn't sit still. the camera is on your face and you wouldn't pose at all lmao. we didn't hit 1 year, baby. so, i wish you reincarnate soon and find your way back to me. i promise i will take care of you more than i did. when i pluck the flowers to decorate cherry's grave, you would hang out near me. you must've reached heaven by now, i hope you met cherry! i'm like ∞% sure that she'll love you unconditionally!

this counts as a love letter to the old lady shown in the picture. i named you not knowing "cherie" means dearie or sweetheart in French. although cherry and cherie is not the same, i think it's such a coincidence that i named you cherry. i was craving cherries when you showed up in my backyard in 2018. usually, street cats like you are scared to approach humans but you weren't. you appeared and interacted with me like we've met before. i call it destiny. i was destined to take care of you. and today marks 1 year without you. 1 year. 1 YEAR. you crossed the rainbow bridge last year. it feels like yesterday when i lost you. but when i cry over you, it's not your last moments that come to my mind. it's the happy memories, like when you willingly slept in my arms when i had a fever, when you needed assistance from my dad to get off of the ladder, when you only ate from my hands and not from your bowl and when you loved a kitten like it's your own. and something i can't forget is.. i had a surgery and i was admitted to the hospital for around 2 weeks. you were alone outside. it was monsoon season and it rained day and night there. you didn't run away, you had all rights to run away tho. i know you were so confused and hungry but you stayed in the neighbourhood and waited for us to come back. this showed the amount of trust you had on us. people say cats aren't loyal and that they're selfish but you were the opposite. when i came back, you ran to me. you had a lot to say that day. you talked non stop, you kept bumping your head and body on me and eventually slept on me. i guess you were complaining.. like an old lady haha- so many stories like this but it would take me an eternity to say it all. i wonder how scared you were when your body was shutting down. you looked scared. you didn't want me to see you like that so you hid under the bed that night. you had little to no energy to stand up or even open your mouth to eat. that sound you made when you got the smell of beef... i can't forget it. even with no energy, you held my finger with your paws, you took out your claws without hurting me. hah.. one thing i can promise you is that you'll always be my eternal companion and my soul cat. it was a privilege to be loved by you and thankyou for letting me love you. thankyou for trusting me and tolerating my childishness. you took half of my heart with you to heaven. like they say, you're truly half of my soul. and i wish to have you as my little companion in every lifetime. and seriously, like they say.. it is weird 'cause what do you know mean i'll never get to see you again in this lifetime? and now i've to remember you for longer than i've known you?? what is this stupidity.. why. lastly, i love you. and i'll miss you for the rest of my life. i hope you're happy up there. i hope you still love me. don't miss me though. missing is a bad emotion and i don't want you to have any negative thoughts. just eat your favourite dried anchovies and drink a lot of water <3.