Finally, after a long time, I had a very good day. I went to a workshop and I made a lantern with washi paper, I even painted the 青竜, my favourite dragon, and I recieved compliments for it. I even managed to have a really quick chat with the japanese women that was running the workshop, I tried to overcome my boundaries, without showing off too much, and I really felt like I was living. Like I had lived. Life does not get lighter, I just hold my breath less.