It makes me happy to find out that I can still acquire new tastes for things, especially music and food. I think my biggest fear is to see myself as someone who doesn’t change their minds or try new things because it is so focused on the things they already like and know. I don’t want to be this type of person, I want to always few the thrill of finding a new album I like, a new genre I didn’t know it existed, there’s so much art in this world! I want to experiment it all, the sounds, the textures, the way each of them can make me feel. I fear becoming boring, not in a sense that I want to impress someone, but in the sense that I make myself flat and sad and lose the curiosity I’ve always had about the world. I want to feel like I can always find something new about myself, like how I only figured out at 32 what color is my favorite, it’s green, I love green. Or how I’ve recently found out how much I love electronic ambient music, noisy music, and experimental music. I grew up in survival mode, I didn’t know what I liked, I was just surviving, being what was expected of me. I wasn’t thinking about myself, I was thinking about running away, breaking free. But I was not thinking about what I would do with this freedom, who I would be outside the cage. Who I COULD BE outside my physical and mental prisons. I am still in the process of figuring it out. I still catch myself thinking like the prisoner, as if I don’t have a choice now. But I do, I know I do. And now I have all these possibilities, of things I can experiment with for the first time, that I can like it at first or like it with time, that I can test, that I can taste. I don’t think I have the repertoire to write about music, but I love music, it’s the way it makes me feel. I never know how to describe a song, it’s a feeling, sometimes it’s the lyrics, but what makes me feel for real is the sounds, the rhythm, the beats, the atmosphere. How it can transport me to a realm where I’m me and I am someone else, who is also me, but freer, happier, lighter. Someday I will have the right words to explain it, or not. I don’t know, I know nothing. I’m rambling, I’m just putting feelings and thoughts outside my mind, they maybe don’t make sense to you, or they do if you are as confusing as me. I just wanted to start, because if I’m waiting to be perfect then will never happen, I need to stop procrastinating my life. If I’m too focused on the future, I forget my life is made up of the days that take me there, not even to the future, but to the new present. We will never see the future, because technically we are already there, here, living it.