I'm trying my best to rest a bit during these late spring hot days, but I really find myself unable to do so at the fullest. I'm not really relaxing, I use my phone too much and even if I'm reading papers and gathering informations I really feel the device controlling me. The future is a bit... unclear. PhD's people and thoughts, academic rules (which I don't want to follow), and more personal stuff are affecting my way of reasoning and I really am realizing it now. I even got back to idolyzing some stuff and people to escape reality and that's not what I want to do. I'm going to try my best. After all, is the only thing I can do.