Being a 13 year old girl is full of contradictions. You want to be an adult. You're aware of more adult aspects of life and the pressures that come with it. You're also still hanging on to those aspects of childhood. It's smoking a cigarette someone else got for you while you're combing your Barbie's hair. It's thinking about how to look "sexy" while swimming and playing with your friends. It's shooting basketball after going through something so traumatic. Toxic captures this beautifully.