I usually never complain or talk about my bad mood, but I would like to keep track of how I feel and try to understand why I feel that way. For me, it's often very difficult to figure out exactly what led to the state I'm in at the moment. I'm also working on growing an extra layer of "thick skin" so that I take others' words less to heart. I actually started working on this a long time ago, so it's much easier for me now than it used to be. I no longer cry over mean jokes directed at me and can stand up for myself. I'm also gradually stopping to assume people are laughing at me if someone laughs in class. Well, or rather, I just don't care if they do laugh at me.

Sometimes my heart is overwhelmed by a deep sadness. Today, after my general surgery class, there was a moment when I was struck by the feeling of "I wish I didn't exist." I'm hit by sad days and sad thoughts, even though this whole week is supposed to be joyful—it's the anticipation of meeting my loved one. But this morning, I had car trouble and couldn't start it. General surgery is my least favorite subject; it makes me sick. Today, I even thought, "I shouldn't have chosen this profession." But after resting a bit, I turned on lectures by my spiritual mentor, and it made me feel better. No matter how many problems we face in life, they are solvable. My parents said they would help me with the car, so everything will be fine. Still, I feel a little guilty. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve such good parents as I have. I'm very grateful to them... In the end, my life is actually very good; it's just the end of the year, and my energy is very low. I hope I can rest this weekend so I can make it through to the end of December.

The weather was good and snowy today, so I decided to walk home from the university. I’ve been in a strange state lately. Very low energy to do anything, but I keep praying. Today, my new bed was delivered, so I’m waiting for my boyfriend to come and assemble it. And he’s already coming on December 12th! I’m really looking forward to that day—it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other…

Everything was good for me that day. I felt such peace that even in pharmacology class, I didn't care what grade the professor would give me. I also didn't care what my classmates would think of me. I felt a kind of enlightenment, haha.

One of my favorite books!! I really connected with the characters. It was very interesting to read. I'm thinking about rereading it soon...

It amuses me that most of my posts are liked by a person whose profile picture is Satan. I hope you're interested in following my journey toward God. Thanks for the likes, I appreciate it!

Monday went successfully, but I had a minor nervous breakdown.. It's already Tuesday now, and I'm feeling much better than I was yesterday! My challenge continues, and I haven't stopped praying. By the way, I would really like to get a Shetland Sheepdog (Sheltie) someday. They are very smart and good-natured.

Already day 7! A whole week of me doing my challenge, and I'm actually proud of myself. But what makes me even happier are the changes happening around me. The girls at the institute who didn't really like me have started treating me better because I've become softer myself and didn't refuse to help when the right moment came. Next week, I will try to prioritize cultivating patience within myself. I feel that I lack it and am sometimes prone to judging people, especially if someone starts talking to me about the negative traits of a third person. Honestly, I don't like that, and I would like to avoid such conversations as much as possible. The last time an acquaintance of mine started saying bad things about another person, I just stayed silent. I've noticed that people really love discussing negative things, and it drains a lot of my strength and energy.

In the evening, I was really worried that I would do poorly on my microbiology milestone exam, but as usual, I prayed according to my schedule. In the morning, my anxiety woke me up at 3 AM, and then again at 5 AM. I prayed, finished studying microbiology, and in the end, I passed it with a good grade. The teacher didn't give me an exact score but said she was giving me a good grade, so I was very happy! After that, my friends and I went out for pizza, and I spent most of the day resting.

Yesterday was a tough day (Friday) because today (Saturday), as you may remember, I have classes. I spent the entire Friday studying various disease pathogens to pass my microbiology midterm. I hope I manage to do well today. Yesterday, as usual, I completed my challenge and prayed both in the morning and in the evening. My evening prayer was shorter (about 20 minutes) than usual (usually 40-50 minutes) because I was very anxious about this midterm. Today, due to anxiety, I woke up at 3 a.m. and then again at 5 a.m. I decided to get out of bed at 5:40, prayed, and continued studying.

Absolutely love it. Atticus Finch taught me that one must set a good example for their children. And what a wise character he is in terms of parenting—it was truly a pleasure reading this book!

That's one of my favorite books. This book inspires me and gives me strength, as if I myself were part of the large March family. I haven't finished reading it yet, and I wish it would never end.

Oh it's just my favorite film.. and 1st AVATAR also, and I think all of them would be just my favorite ones 😇

I like the idea of how, through self-acceptance, a person becomes much stronger.

My challenge is going well! I already wrote a lot yesterday about how everything is progressing. Today is very similar to yesterday. In the evening, praying is easier for me, so I pray for longer. After prayer, a sense of peace always comes. I used to have anxiety, but now it's not as intense. I feel that I want to do things because of a strength that is inside me, not out of fear of not having enough time or getting a bad grade. I have a better sense of responsibility for my actions. Also, thanks to the daily routine I'm following, I no longer want to sleep during the day and don't feel extremely tired. This is a big success, because in the fall, starting from October, I used to be hit by terrible fatigue every day when I returned from university. So, there is progress in a good direction!! And quite significant progress at that!)

Hi, I'm still here :> My challenge is going well. This morning I woke up 40 minutes before my alarm and couldn't fall back asleep. This allowed me to get up without any issues, and I felt energetic. Though my head was hurting a bit because I cried yesterday. The morning prayer was a little difficult; I felt a heat in my body while praying. I decided to change my body position and continue praying anyway. I switched from standing to kneeling, and it became easier. Does that ever happen to you? The evening prayer went much better. I even started my prayer earlier and prayed longer than usual. I prayed for about 50 minutes. I feel much better because of it. I feel God giving me strength through prayer; I truly praise His power and virtue. At one point I even cried a little, repenting. Thanks to prayer, I am realizing where I am behaving incorrectly with people and how I should correct myself, even though I wouldn't have been able to see this before. Well, I will work on myself. I might even include the changes in one of my next reports!

Today was really nice day! I slept well, prayed at 6 a.m. and 9 p.m. I got the highest score in pharmacology, 'cause yesterday I studied really hard. Proud of myself. Prayers and daily routine also help me establish a regular eating schedule, which I used to struggle with. Before, I would simply forget to eat due to exhaustion. Now, however, I eat well and my mood is much better than usual. I feel like I have gained strength.

since today I started to pray in the morning (6:00 a.m.) and evening (9 p.m.). Besides I want to become more patient over others and everything that happening around me.. Today i did a great work. I deleted genshin impact and wild rift. And I came back to read one of my favorite books, that I abandoned... hope, tomorrow I will continue my challenge. Oh, yeah, I challenge myself for a month. we'll see where would it get me, hehe.

One of my favorite songs. This morning I was listening to it, I remembered how much I love it and started humming right on the street, and then I noticed a guy trying to get around me on the left. It was funny and awkward, ahaha

I hate to study on Saturdays. But I'm going home today, that makes me happy! My friend didn't come to class today, so I sit on my own.. Still microbiology is interesting. We are going through the topic of viruses. Interesting fact: all viruses need the enzyme protease to harm the body they enter!