2h 8m long? but the movie ended for me when Neil achieved his freedom at 1:47:12. he was indeed really good. what a brave and kind-hearted kid. but he deserved better parents. i'm glad he got to live his dream, even though it was for a day. when Todd learned Neil's dead, i realised i'm Todd irl. the subtitles may have said "Neil's dead" but what i read was "Chris' dead". and it's normal to wonder who "Chris" is. found him in an mmorpg game and i no more play it. last year, he achieved his freedom. i love him more than i remember him and the time we spent — although it was short — will be remembered forever. he was dear to me. i remember, he wanted to become an architect and i wanted to see him as one. the difference between Chris and Neil is that.. Neil spoke up and lived his dream for a while. my Chris couldn't speak up because his parents didn't care a bit about him and he couldn't achieve his dream either. and the difference between Todd and me is that, he yawped. i didn't. i still silently cry about it. i haven't finished the movie yet because i cried to sleep. at first, it was just Chris but the grief grew. and i started crying over my soul cat and my first love. my eyes were burning and i don't think i need to write about my heart.

currently on ep. 3. got some things to say: i think i'm obsessed with Shane Hollander/Hudson Williams. he's so bbg. i got spoilers on instagram. my favourite gotta be "i was gonna ask you (hollander).. willyoucometomycottagethissummer. don't go to russia. come to my house. we'll have so much fun, so private, no one will know (hollander, you know i can't do that).. we could have a week or even two". kept mumbling it around my house. the contrast between Ilya Rozanov and Connor Storrie is absolutely frying me. i love dude's accent so much, i watch it on repeat 🥀. Connor, on the other hand, seems so silly.. gives me major kitten vibes. signing out ᯓᡣ𐭩