I love that bougainvillea are in full bloom. Also mangoes Unfortunately, I overheard that an specific hospital where I am planning to take my practicum in are in full slots (probably because of students from different university). I'm kind of disappointed because I really want to finish my clinical with them. I'll focus on self-studying for the meantime. I'm also planning to process my ojt requirements by Monday—the permissions, and letters are already with me.

2 p.m. to 7 p.m. class tomorrow. you just got to be there. I'm currently reading the copy of our lesson, 5-hour lecture class sucks, but at least I do not have laboratory anymore. Drinking my cold milk while making my flashcards. I bought 2, I saw it on TikTok and thought it was cute. Selecta FM the best tasting milk. I ordered 200pcs translucent sticky notes. I didn't even know it was a thing not until today. I'll use it to annotate my DSM V.

I am still not certain what setting I'll go first. Quite a few seniors were suggesting for the completion of educational setting, keeping the industrial and clinical as our last. They said it's much better that way because clinical and industrial will require us to reside on other cities, especially if want to train on institutions with pay. Additionally, on the first few weeks/months, the school still oftenly requires our presence. And classes will still be going. It will be difficult to go from 1-4 city just because the school wants us to. I am already exhausted just by thinking. I mean, 3 work settings??? Imagine how many medical and pedagogical institutions, and companies I have to visit to submit my resumes. A lot of interviews, revisits, job-hunts, activities, the works, and hours long bus rides I had to do. I still haven't opened up the apartment thing I have to tell my family. Also, I do not want to be found at educational setting🤕🙏🏻. I'm already at school, why do I have to go to another??🙏🏻🙏🏻 Imagine my expense this upcoming months. I have yet to pay my miscellaneous🫠

I have been leading research groups for years pls free me🙏🏻🙏🏻 No classes tomorrow, I just saw our Prof's story, he's in Mt. Pulag—hiking😓 He won't attend guys, so, we better not go tomorrow as well.

I wrote to my journal that I will be manifesting the life I want using Pinterest and living the life out of it and then before the clock strikes 1:12, I just saw 111, so I thought why not seach on Google and then what???!?!!? I wrote on my journal with so much eagerness even though my entire arm is hurting, and the universe answered that QUICK when I almost turn off my phone to SLEEP?!?!!!?! Ghadd!!! I guess I'll have a good life.

What should I do to get a boyfriend at 20?? Gang I am pressured. I mean, I have 8 friends and 2 of them already has a boyfriend, but I bet we all feel the gravity of this partner thing crashing us, and I am overwhelmed. What if they all got their boyfriends and I am the only one left in the group who's lonely?🙁 I am having doubts on myself, I do not want to be behind in life, I can't even imagine myself getting married😔. I am very selective. Why no one told me this is hard? Like how do you guys get a man that don't cheat, don't take you as a competition, and don't open their mouth to say nonsense shit? (anonymous co'z the evil men who tried to win me better not catch me lacking😎)

Aside from watching movies, one of my favorite past time is making ai read my destiny chart because (1) I do not know how to read my destiny matrix chart (2) I like zodiacal releasing but idk either so I make them read it (3) i don't know any psychics that won't scam me, and (4) they feed my delusions.

I rather post my agendas in here than my personal accounts. I have an extreme fear of being perceived. Anw, I just want to share this here, and encouraged you to join webinars, although I am on this field, I am not saying this to advertise but as an encouragement for you, though, I only join webinars for a cause and only consider transparent organizations that actually help people. Webinars are for everyone, especially, mental health/well-being webinars will open up your mind for new perspective. I have participated within my school but I am now exploring outside. Unfortunately, I have too much on my plate and couldn't accommodate furthermore goals. I have to focus first with upcoming much important events. One day I will get to donate soon and do volunteer works. For now, webinars for a cost is all I got.

Spare sometime to pray for my sake guys🙁 I applied for leadership and service award (I badly wanted to have one) but I'm not sure if they will consider my application because I didn't participate in any student governmental position. I only joined 4 committees starting first year, and had volunteer works, workshops, and seminars. I don't think my portfolio is that impressive compared to those who secured higher position than I. I had an academic service beginning 2023-2025. 3 years. I am deeply saddened🤧🤕. Last year I got a Psychology Award, but I want to secure this one because I am not eligible to apply for Psychology Awardee :( I also stop joining any committees this school year because I am heavily weighted by loads and loads of works. I cannot multitask. I want recognition for my efforts after all the hardships and burnouts I had to go through 🫂😔.

I missed my webinar last night because I fell asleep after school. I had a very unfortunate day yesterday. I needed a break because the heartbreak were kind of too much for me. My tomato plants died. They wilted because I poured spoiled milk, because according to my sister tomatoes loves milk but I guess the milk was too spoiled that it had a lot of acid. I do not blame my sister, but I am disappointed and was sad. I cannot bear to look at my plants. I took care of them for weeks and now they are dead. I kept thinking that they are alive and they are too small, meaning they're like babies and I love them but I killed them. I kept on watering them since morning. I want to believe that they are salvageable, although their stems and bodies grew weak.

It's been a long time not hearing from me. I started my internship last Tuesday, and tomorrow will be my third day at the company. I'll say I got overwhelmed on my first day because I got subjected into immediate operation, due to the surge of applicants, and also from the fact that I am not used to speaking the language the way I used to as a child. I never had "that" awful experience, but back then, kids my age would point out how I speak different and it made me very conscious, until I completely stop speaking in that specific manner. I also felt the difference in treatment and that no one would really try to approach me. I am saddened that because of it I lost the language—but that's what I thought. Going in the company that has strict policy and working with people I have no knowledge of, made me really confident and in line with the behavior I assumed as completely loss. It is very unfortunate, especially, in a country where the basis of intelligence is according to how many language you can speak, your proficiency, and how articulate you had become. Aside from that, when the language as a basis isn't not fully acknowledge without being eyed by your own people. People may see language as a form of communication but it has lengths. If you are in the middle and you speak a language different from your mother tongue, you are not expected to initiate anything from the people. If you are poor, and you speak a language far different from your mother tongue, regardless of your educational attainment, they are not expecting you in continuing on speaking the language. What is truly the definition of communication barrier when the language is perceived as social status? — I hope I am not being too much for you, I just always have that bitterness in me. This is why people often misjudge me as introvert, when I'm just really got slap with mockery. SPEAKING of the company. I like working with them. People are all nice. Non-toxic environment. No allowance, but free foods everyday!! I like all the employees, including the security guards. Everyone is accomodating. They made me feel like me. Usually, it's my sister and I. I fully express myself in this language, and I am more proficient. I am delighted to speak with people in a language I much prefer. This is why I kind of have identity crisis due to code switching, and familial ties. People are different and we have to embrace difference. I am not saying that I don't like them, but my friends just don't know me as much as my family. Whenever people say eye is the mirror of the soul, behind my mind I think it really is language.