welp it's officially chinese new year week gotta attend so so so many lunches and dinners with relatives and theres gonna be so much talking and fake laughing 97% introverted person needs to mentally prepare herself for this thank god i met up with my friend to escape reality and ate good food and went to a local new year market to get local goods fun day, tired, gtg :)

better late than never :) the flowers are barely even there anymore but at least we got some aesthetic shots but most importantly, i just enjoy spending time with my friend

yes please. havent seen my friend in MONTHS finally met up and there was so much catching up life is good :)

last minute dinner with my friend after her dentist appointment and my stressful day :( but thai food was 🤌 20 thousand steps btw? god damn

i met up with an old friend from middle school and we ate lunch together and literally chat for 4+ hours 😆 i'm very happy to reunite with my good friend at the time :)) (didnt take any photos unfortunately :( but there will always be a next time)

but the photo are things i bought for myself today (after gifting my sister a blind box that i picked for her after she told me which version of the mickey mouse she wanted AND GUESS WHAT? I MANAGED TO PICK THE EXACT ONE 🥳) a 2026 calendar featuring a hong kong movie on each day, with its plot and a line or lyric from the movie. the beer on the left has a unique design and says "good morning hong kong" (only something hkers will understand 🤫) lovely day, even got to see a fun exhibition and ate dinner with mom :) 10/10

on my period so it's gaming day (i need to clean my monitor my god is it filthy)

its 2 in the morning and i took my meds and am laying in bed, with my diffuser on and a nightlight, playing life is strange again after a very long hiatus. i remember finishing this game years ago on my pc, but when i got my ps5 around 2 years ago, i decided to buy it again to replay it. but i never finished replaying it and im stuck at chapter 3 but i guess im starting now because my god, there are so many more games in the franchise i need to catch up on and i think they're gonna release a new one soon. but this scene, max sitting on the swing, with the music playing in the background and the sceneries, took me right back to when i was 10, when i first discovered this game through a youtuber that i adored who no longer is on the platform. and little did that kid know, this game would change my entire life. it's moments like these that made me realize, nothing will ever surpass the feeling this game gives me. it's not just a game, it was a turning point in my life. memories are rushing back and i just needed a place to let thoughts out.

gotta stop it with these late night snacks im treating myself too well :)

replaying ep 4 rn of lis and i forgot how crushing it was seeing the alternate reality that would've happened if william was saved but chloe became paralyzed. i was holding my tears when they were walking along the beach. i was holding my tears when they were spending the night together watching blade runner. i was holding my tears when max finally got to speak to an alive william. but i couldn't hold it in anymore when max walked into what would've been chloe's room. it's all empty, boxes of childhood memories, letters from relatives sending the price family good wishes after the accident. no trace of chloe, besides the crutch her parents bought but she never got to use it because, she could never walk again. growing up is realizing that yes, chloe got into so much shit in the real reality, so much trouble that could've been avoided and her death was one way or another a consequence of her actions. she was immature and inconsiderate in a lot of ways, but she never deserved to die, not when she was carrying the trauma of losing her father at a young age, not when her best friend left her behind to move with her family, not when her mother moved on with someone else so she felt like she was abandoned, not when her new best friend who meant everything to her went missing. she needed someone in her life to guide her, to teach her, to let her know she could live without carrying grief as a burden on her shoulders. she needed someone, but she never received that. because in the real reality, she never reunited with max, the one week that they got to spend time together and discovering clues about rachel and other town secrets never happened in her reality. she died alone lying in a pool of blood.

listen... i know im still on the replay of the first game and ive got a lot more to finish BUT BRINGING CHLOE BACK? holy moly honestly this could be the best or worst choice they've ever made. i mean yeah it patches up the hole i have in my heart for killing her off years ago, which she did not deserve, but how are they going to explain this comeback? regardless, it made me emotional watching the duo back together again. i'm getting out of bed now :)

no cheating in life but cheating on my diet

finally am eating something for the first time today (its 15:15 😔) i may need to start building the habit of eating breakfast once my insomnia gets better and i'm able to wake up earlier good news is though, i fell asleep at around 3 am and slept soundfully throughout the night til i woke up naturally at 10 in the morning. THAT IS A HUGE WIN 🥳 like it wasn't even light sleep or i was waking up intermittently, i was genuinely sleeping and had dreams (so i did fall into deep sleep) i woke up, did my morning routine, made my first glass of matcha in 2026 (need to buy new ingredients they all went bad 😭), and washed all my beddings stood for a solid 20 minutes in the bathroom washing all my makeup brushes since the toolkit arrived (and my sister is arriving later today so the bathroom will be pretty occupied from then on 🙂‍↕️) and now, i'm eating takeouts and watching a twitch stream :)

my friend came back from taiwan and brought me back a very special gift (more to my cats than me tbh 🥲) thank you b ❤️

ay ya ya finally got this movie out of the way released when i was 4 and 16 years later, 3 movies out from the franchise, i finally sat down ans watched the entire thing right from the moment the audience is taken into pandora, there is not a single doubt why this movie is the highest grossing movie of all time. i mean jesus christ the budget was 237 million dollars, literally one of the most expensive movies ever made. and for a film made in the 2000s with such stunning visuals? yeah no wonder why this was the most anticipated and popular film ever. in terms of storytelling, the world of pandora had so much world building that needed to be done but due to the tight screen time (which 3 hours is a lot for a film but clearly still not enough for avatar) to move the plot forward, i feel like the foundation wasn't quite laid down enough. the bond and relationship between jake and neytiri was informed, and it was moved forward at a normal pace, but i would love to see more of why their bond was so strong, why they were special to each other, beyond their first sight, beyond the training, i needed more interactions to prove their unbreakable bond. gonna be honest, which is a very personal opinion, everytime the humans were on screen i got so tired 😂 i honestly only ever wanted to see the Na'vi and the world of pandora. perhaps thats my only criticism of the film, too many humans 👌🏻 on to the next one i guess, brb (i need to finish both so i can rush to the cinema for the third 😭)

life hasn't been so rough lately, but only when i'm not dealing with college applications, agents asking me when i'm going to be taking ielts, when i will be accepting offers, and the idea of my current disconnection with relatives and family because everyone knows about my current situation and are scared to reach out because of the fear of putting pressure on me and other aspects 🙂‍↕️ i don't wake up everyday anymore with frustration because i didn't sleep well or didn't sleep at all the night before and the light is shining through which means the new day has arrived. my sleep is slowly getting better, so maybe the antidepressants and sedatives are really starting to take effect. i don't dread the idea of the ending of a day and darkness taking over the sky because i have a my own little nighttime routine before bed, cozy streams, cozy lighting, diffuser on with lavendar oil, and thick blankets with a heat pad beneath my bed cover so i can get in and feel like i'm on a fluffy piece of cloud. the eczema is getting better, actually they're basically gone. it doesn't hurt anymore to wash my face and put on moisturizer, but looking at the pimples growing all over hurts my self esteem, because i can't put on tret anymore as it will only disrupt my skin barrier and trigger the eczema. but healing takes time, once i clear my eczema i will go back to my derm and tell her about agreeing to get on roaccutane (i got the greenlight from my psychiatrist) i have this mini checklist in my reminders app called everyday routine, and it lists out all the non-negotiables i have to do everyday, however, my lazy ass has been skipping face washing after waking up 🙃 i will try my best to get back on it "healing isn't linear" is so true in every way and gets thrown around a lot, but honestly? us as a society never really took that in and let in sink in. it isn't linear and sometimes, the process can look really, really ugly. people don't usually stick around for that. i'm really grateful for all the people that stuck around in 2025 because boy was it a difficult year for me. no expectations for 2026, cuz most of the time i am let down. peace, quiet, solitude, and a heart full of love moving forward ❤️

lone trip again in tst. this time came earlier after picking up something and putting it back home. also ate pasta downstairs. drank the new tiramisu cocoa drink from heytea, 3/10 would recommend, its basically overpriced cold chocolate. then walked around the harbor, facetimed my best friend who was studying for her finals tomorrow :( then i ate ramen and now i am drinking a glass of negroni at a bar table life is good 🥳

decided to go wild and went on a night trip to the victoria harbor alone. i boarded the bus at around 11pm and got off after 20ish minutes. it was freezing because of the strong wind and i kept having to stop in my tracks to cover myself up even more with my cropped puffer jacket (wrong choice of clothing ik) nonetheless, very much worth it. way less people during this time and i actually get to breathe in fresh air because there's no crowd blocking me from doing so. i got to listen to music in pure silence with noice canceling headphones. it was pure *bliss*. along the side of the harbor is the avenue of star and one of which is a plaque of mr. leslie cheung, one of the most famous and well-respected hk movie star/singer of all time. the love and tremendous respect i have for him i cannot use words to describe but seeing so many fans still honoring his legacy and putting flowers there in memory of him warms my dead heart. happy new year leslie ❤️ 永遠懷念你

i finally ate real food. i say this is my first meal of 2026 🫶🏻

and on that note, my 2025 is officially over. this show was the best thing that happened to me in 2025 (besides zootopia). i have so much to say about this show but i'll cut it short the way gay romance has been portrayed in the media in recent years has been shedding so much light on the queer community. they mostly surround the topic of coming out and the pressure behind it. but there's a reason why people still come back for more even if each of them surround this same plot - it shows a different side of masculinity that we don't usually see. i'm pretty sure hudson talked about the same thing in an interview with connor so i won't discuss much on it (and i am not very knowledgeable on the topic either) i love both shane and ilya but i love ilya not because of ilya, i love ilya because of how connor played him and that is such a weird occurence for me because i usually like fictional characters for who they are, not for how they are portrayed. connor is such a powerful actor, i literally do not know what other word to use even though this doesn't quite seem like the appropriate word. like powerful in a subtle way, does that make sense? he gives not only scenes with lines meaning, but the silence as well, and that's a craft you don't find often nowadays. anyway i need to rest cuz i just got out the hospital this morning recovering from a high fever. i have so much love for this show and the cast and crew behind it. heated rivalry you have truly made the last month of 2025 better. i can't wait to see what jacob has in store for us, but in the meantime, i will be enjoying the two books by rachel :)