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starfaller
(o・ω・o)
최신

On Your Lap
영화 / TV
suasana sumpeknya dapet banget which was good, i guess? 😭 nonton ini setelah nonton reza rahadian dateng ke podcast raditya dika, ekspektasiku cukup tinggi mengingat beliau bicara risetnya segala macem. first of all, i must say the film just feels so humane. there are some uncomfortable moments, but that what makes it feel real. that's the truth. however... ceritanya buatku agak ngambang, kayak nggak tau mau dibawa ke mana. dari scene pertama diliatin sartika taunya udah diatas truk aja—we don't know her, her personality, what she really wants, why she's in pantura, and that makes her a 'hollow shell' of vulnerable women character, a damsel in distress. i thought we will be shown to the 'kopi pangku' culture, but not really. lebih ke cerita hidup sartika yang yaudah aja hari-harinya menjalani apa yang ada di depan dia. kebetulan ada supir truk ikan baik hati dan dia mengulangi kesalahannya (trusting men) lagi dan kembali ke titik semula. i get the frustration, the sadness, the void, but then ... what? agak jauh timeskip di endingnya sih. pas nonton ⅓ ending malah bingung karena sebenernya ini ceritanya mau dibawa kemana? the plot is kinda scattered setelah hadi ngilang. kek yah... yaudah... emang ini hidup yang harus dijalani... pasrah... or maybe that what the director wants karena memang seinget aku poinnya dia bilang di 'ibu' cuma kek apa ya kurang greget gitu loh... the only scene that able to pierce my heart adalah bagian lagu rpg diputer. selebihnya berusaha menghayati but that turns out kinda hard to do.
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Martyr!
책
this is not an easy read, of course. not a book to read in one sitting too, since it's too complex and jumpy. you need to read bits of it and let it marinate in your brain before it makes sense. martyr! is so ... human. with its complexities. cyrus' character might sounds obscure, appear polar opposites, rarely explored in a book, but that just shows how human he is. how contradictive, how fragile, how vulnerable, how he actually want to take a part in society and died as an "martyr" so his death is worth it. in my opinion, such act resembles how he really wants to live instead. and human crave of love, a department cyrus may didn't realized he carry that too since he was born. love from his parents and zee. he always felt alone, drown in loneliness and he thought his existence may not mean any thing to this world. it's once zee break down he only realize. i also love the story of roya/orkideh, leila, and sang on their perspective of love. this book didn't really write "love" out loud, but its take on it is mesmerizing. this book was not for someone who seek for grand, life changing paragraphs. it's just what we felt daily, close to our hearts. and that's why it is amazing.
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