ok first of all im rating it like pretty mid NOT bcs i dont like it or whatever (I DO LOVE IT) but bcs i genuinely threw up over THIS TWEET (please do check v8 unit they're debuting soon<3) like maybe i am THE loser or i have a very weak stomach that everything that makes me too excited or too.... something... would make me puke^_° its embarrassing..

late update bcs i dont think i could express myself through words that day (i am overwhelmed<3) it feels weird and empty knowing that its their last group activitiy before enlistment.. (tho we still have more solo/unit activities after) maybe it is the parasocial in me but truly being with them for almost 11 years now and having to wait for them to come back as 13 shouldn't feel that hard bcs i kinda asked for it bcs i dont have to deal with everyone enlisting again and again and again but knowing that they didn't really have to enlist this soon but they do that anyway still makes me sad.. for all the.. weird scheduled and confusing unit/solo activities (cough verdi cough) idk man i am terrible at writing stuff but im sure I'll get through the hiatus (or just.. solo activities) I've been through this before but for now I'll just enjoy whatever stuff I'll get before the hello this is pledis announcement comes..🧘🏻‍♀️

late update<3 (i am super tired and overwhelmed yesterday *on why i WILL be posting the reason why LMAO) it is a new experience for me to go to a bar to watch queer movies (i do enjoy it, really fun) also since we're not only watching a full featured film (cmiiw i am not like,, a full on cinephile lol *i do enjoy watching movies sometimes,,) but also short films so i get to see like the ones i havent heard before which is really cool to me tho in my OWN personal opinion i am not built to watch that much movies in one sitting dhkshdkshd (we do have breaks in between) but like after watching one short film we continue right after,, like i feel like i dont have time to process what did i just watch.. dgksdhdk also here's the list of the movies i watched yesterday (today based on the date??) *would update the movies i liked the most eh sori kalo fotonya kpopie bgt (emang kpopie)

BRO AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH i am having the BIGGEST MASSIVE COLLOSAL ENORMOUS FOMO EVER like???? i am not even the type of person who goes to a club (thinking of being around that much people kinda makes me sick *i am just really scared of being around a lot of people,, nothing to do with the place.. i think being able to listen and dance to great music is really fun) but like i am WILLING to feel sick and overwhelmed by the amount of people there just to be there and feel the energy there... it looks SUPER FUN... like both vernon and the8 were enjoying themselves.. and the songs being played (other than their songs) were soooooo fun like OUGHHHHH i wish i was there</3

went out with my family to kebun raya bogor todaaay<3 we didn't even walked that much bcs we rented a golf cart (JUJUR 350k for an HOUR IS NUTS...) but less cranky kiddos so whatever ^_^

i truly suck at writing how i feel.. bcs i feel like i have tons of things to say but im not capable at convey it to words... but thankfully i am pretty good at crying so at least i could just feel my emotions but I'll try to write this one out i have been a dolly (vernon stan) and a carat (seventeen stan) for almost eleven years now and people (other dollys) would probably know that its kinda hard here since we dont get to see a lot of vernon updates (selca or whatever) so imagine me, a dolly who's somewhat kinda used to not having much updates of her idol, gets to see him having his own unit, and making music (which he love the most) and collaborating with people he looks up to.. also knowing that he's a private guy, and him sharing his most personal moments (his childhood videos) to be used as his solo song music video.... best believe im crying my ass off (i have not watched it when i wrote and posted this) and the fact that his enlistment is coming up soon truly makes me so ill like.. im a dying dog and my owner gave me a chocolate as my final treat before they put me down.. i am so insane about this whole thing if you cant tell🧘🏻‍♀️ like imagine going to a parasocial competition, you will definitely see me there (i am not proud of this but genuinely, whatever)

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD i truly never think that i get to watch mitski live bro😭😭😭😭😭😭 SHE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL AMAZING BRILLIANT TALENTED PERFORMER GOSHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭 i cried multiple times last night bcs it was just so insane and the band was sOOO GOOD!! and the crowd was amazing💐💐💐 and the fact that i get to listen some of my favorite songs on the setlist just feel so insane i cant describe how i feel... but like.. the second i listened to i bet on losing dogs my heart just.. beating so fast i thought i might explode🤓 bonus: my 2021 credentials:p (might post my analog cam pics but i haven't finished my roll yet so I'll post it later,,, maybe)

ive been wanting to write this out but i genuinely forgot about it so now im drafting it so i dont have to rationalize about what i feel and just... feel it next time it feels weird that someone i do not know personally just... been part of my life for almost 11 years now.. and he's just always kinda there (not like.. physically.. but more like... metaphorically..) like there are tons of stuff ive went through and somehow he's somewhat there... like.. giving me a moral support or just... being The Emotional Support Kpop Guy to me like 11 years is a pretty long time to be a fan of someone and like... being terriblly parasocial towards them (im well aware about it but like in my head we're like best friends so whatever) like??? imagine being 11yo... thats like enough to graduate elementary school bro??? thats wild i genuinely dont know what im supposed to say anymore but he's kinda that one person that I've always look up to, I'll check on him time to time even when im not specifically in the fandom.. i genuinely love and support him as a person and an artist and having to grow up together (in a way) makes it kinda hard for me to let him go?? (genuinely who tf am i.. nobody bro) ughhhhhh idk stay healthy man... i miss u already also this lil dude gave us this song when he enlisted (im so grateful but honestly its too much im SO SAD)

i had a great time today:D - watched chiikawa movie - went to the park and finished my book - saw cute cats - ate yummy food

hdkshdkshs aduh nangis kecyl.. abis nyuci film rollku (yg accidentally ketelen padahal masih sisa... 14 shots... mana sekarang MAHAL BGT... dan ini yg iso400..🥀💔) jujur i kinda predicted fotonya ga bakal mantep tp SEPARAH ENIH ANJAYYY *dibandingkan fotoku pas konser kpop, konsernya mitski emang gelap bgt sih.. ga banyak lighting heboh.. jadi ga keliatan bgt di kamera kempringku enih #yasudah

it's crazy how he gets how it feels to be a teenage girl... like... what do you mean it was written in the 1930s by a japanese man? and being a girl (at least to me) still kinda feels like this.. when will we be free🧘🏻‍♀️

jujur ga niat buat ke artket karena ada other plans,, tapi plans cancelled,, jadi yah,,, saya jajan deh^-^ (over budget as always sy #pasrah) terus ke foreword library lagi minjem buku (all the lovers in the night by mieko kawakami) abis itu karena temenku also going out jadi kita decided untuk bertemu!!! tadinya mau ngobrol di taman yg di gbk tapi GELAP akhirnya kita cari taman lain kita makan bubur sambil ngobrol2 (ada kucing main kejar2an sama kodok) +artket haul:3

i am not the type of person who would go out after going out a full day the day before and honestly i kinda hate that i actually do that to myself BUT this day kinda the only time i could meet my besties SO WE DIGRESS started the day somewhat early and bestie actually came to my house and did my makeup (best ive ever looked in a while just to go out to FUCKASS BLOK M BTW) but we wanted to take cute pics so we gotta look pretty (and we did YAHOO) we had like 2 photoboxes and 1 self photo session and another solo pics (we really maximize being cute that day ok) then its way past lunch time so we ate at a random nearby restaurant^_^ after all that we finally went to a cafe to take cute pics of our stuff:p overall amazing day I love it

MASSIVE HEALINGS TODAY #.YAY met my lovely friend and ate sushi, then got some froyo for dessert somehow we went to this book fair and bought some books for our niece (and nephew) then we watched a documentary film at this indie cinema(?) i was kinda scared bcs i might feel out of place (i dont feel like i am a cinephile, thats a scary word for me lmao) but it was really cool bcs i am very much interested about what the documentary was about, and the discussion was really engaging:) then we took some pics and ate dinner:p amazing day overall^_^ (some of the pics got corrupted so theyre GONE im pissed😠)

no context hari ini tapi i had a wonderful time today.. glad i went out^3^

i finally met oomf^_^ i am so relieved that we really match our energy irl too lmaoo

went out to an art market with my dear friend, then we watch some short movies centering on women, then ate some pizza and had some dessert. it was great<3